I tested him for 2 years

I often get asked whether I feel safe on the back of a motorbike with Mr M.

It’s a fair question – especially after our recent trip to Croatia on the bike (with a little detour through France, Belgium, Germany, Slovenia and Austria on the way!).

But here’s the truth… when you’re building your Blockbuster Life after domestic abuse, one of the hardest things is learning to trust again.

It took me a very long time to trust that Mr M wasn’t just putting on an act. In fact, it took about 2 years — and that had absolutely NOTHING to do with him, and EVERYTHING to do with me.

For 2 years I was waiting for the mask to slip.

Why? Because I’d never been loved unconditionally in a romantic relationship before, and it completely shook me.

I tested it, over and over again — sometimes without even realising:

✨ Going out with girlfriends and bracing for the fallout.
✨ Changing plans last-minute and waiting for the explosion.
✨ Booking weekends away, saying yes to overnight work events, spending time with male friends, inviting people into our home…

And not once did he have a problem with it. Not once. He just accepted it, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

That’s when I realised it was me who had to unlearn the past.

👉 If you’ve been through abuse, how long did it take you to trust again? Or are you still learning, like I was?