The Dangerous Side of Influence, and Why the Coaching Industry Must Do Better

Having worked in and around the self-development world for more than 20 years, I’ve seen many sides of it.

I’ve witnessed extraordinary transformation;  lives changed, confidence restored, families healed.
But I’ve also felt uneasy at times. I’ve seen techniques that border on manipulation, “wisdom” that feels more like indoctrination, and personalities who build empires on authority rather than integrity.

There’s one individual in particular, arguably the most recognisable name in the industry, who has never sat comfortably with me. Despite their global reach, sold-out arenas, and millions of followers, something always felt off.

A recent social media reel crystallised that discomfort.
In it, this person stood before thousands and stated that when a woman says “go away” or “leave me alone,” what she really means is “chase me and prove you love me.”

As the camera scanned the room, many women looked visibly uneasy.
And whilst I suspect the reel was edited for impact someone on that team believed this message was worth amplifying.

The implications are chilling.
Such messaging blurs the lines around consent.
It places responsibility on women to manage men’s reactions.
And it normalises behaviours that women spend entire lifetimes trying to avoid.

Having personally experienced the pushy sales tactics of this individual’s protégés, including bullying and harassment, I am no longer surprised. But I am deeply disappointed.

Because leadership requires integrity.
Influence demands accountability.
And consent is non-negotiable.

If you are a coach, therapist, mentor, or voice others look to for guidance, I ask this of you:

Use your influence for good.
Model respect.
Honour boundaries every single time, including your own.
The world is watching how we lead.

If this resonates and you want to work with a coach who respects your boundaries instead of crossing them, I’d love to introduce you to my programme Behind the Mask.
Reply INFO and I’ll send you the details privately.