Confidence is built IN discomfort, Not in the Absence of it

We only become comfortable with something by sitting with the discomfort of it while we’re learning and growing.

That’s true in so many areas of my life and especially when it comes to confidence.

Recently, I shared that I still feel nervous about public speaking.
Many people were surprised.

They told me I didn’t appear nervous.
That I came across as confident.

And I understand why, but that confidence didn’t happen overnight.

It came from choosing not to run from fear.

Over time, I learned how to channel nerves into energy, how to gently trick my brain into excitement instead of anxiety, and how to use my breath to calm my nervous system.

It didn’t happen quickly.
I’ve been honing that craft for 40 years.

Forty years of learning how to be comfortable with fear.
Comfortable with levels of anxiety that would stop many people in their tracks.

That learning doesn’t just support my ability to perform it underpins everything I do.

I wasn’t confident the first time I mentored a survivor of domestic abuse.
Or the first time I delivered hypnotherapy.
Or coached couples through relationship change.
Or supported high-achieving women to create their own Blockbuster Lives.
I wasn’t confident when I published my books, launched my podcast, spoke on radio, or even the first time I truly said to myself, “I am enough.”

Yet I did it anyway.

People often say I exude quiet authority.
That comes not from bravado, but from experience, from repeatedly choosing to move forward despite discomfort.

I don’t enjoy the nerves that come with growth.
But I deeply enjoy the results.

When fear shows up, I focus on the outcome I want and the outcome I know I can create. I make it so vivid that I can feel it with every sense in my body.

Creating change is frightening.
Moving through challenges is uncomfortable.
But the end result is worth every moment of fear.

So the question becomes:
Are you prepared to do the work required to achieve what you desire or will nerves and anxiety decide for you?

The choice is entirely yours.

And if you’re ready to create your own Blockbuster Life, I’d love to hear from you.
Those brief moments of nerves before reaching out?
They will be worth it.