Presents or Presence?

I recently celebrated my 50^th birthday but I don’t have a single photo of my party to share with anyone.

Why is this?

Upon reflection I realise that it’s because all of us at the party were actually present in the moment rather than worrying about capturing it to share with the rest of the World.

Being present is something many of us forget about in our relationships.

How often are you truly present in your relationship?

Your partner arrives home from work and tells you about their day, but rather than listening properly you’re thinking about what to cook for dinner, what to tell them about your day, what time you have to pick the kids up.

You sit down to watch TV together but one of you is watching whilst the other is scrolling through social media on your phone.

You go out for dinner and rather than talk, you take selfies, photographs of your food, your surroundings and share them on social media.

When was the last time you and your partner really connected and were fully present with each other?

Try it today.  Take just 20 minutes, put your phones on silent and out of sight.  Spend 10 minutes each talking.  Person 1 talks about their day or whatever they want for just 10 minutes without interruption, then person 2 does the same.  Truly listen to what is being said.  Watch your partner’s physiology.  Do you notice when they become excited, angry, reflective, motivated?

Taking time out to be truly present with your partner is the best present you can give each other.

Presence is much better for your relationship, and more valuable than presents.