You’ve had it easy!

“You’ve Had It Easy”

At least, that’s the story people tell themselves about me.

And it’s a perfect example of how easily we believe the façade that’s presented to us.

On the surface, I understand it.
I live with the love of my life.
I have a strong relationship with my 20-year-old son who is following his dreams.
I have a full-time job and a coaching practice that fulfil me.
I make time for my hobbies. I have friends who nourish me. I have money in the bank. I have my health.

So yes  it looks like I’ve had it easy.
And yes now my life looks good.

But it wasn’t always this way.

The Parts You Don’t See

At 20 years old, I married my childhood sweetheart.
He beat me for the first time on our wedding night.

At 28, I met Mr M.
At 29, I lost him.

At 33, I married again – my kickboxing instructor.
At the time, I didn’t realise I was walking straight into my second abusive marriage.

At 35, my son was born. He was the first of seven pregnancies to make it to term.

That same year, I launched my first business out of necessity. My husband was unemployed, and my employer had reneged on my maternity agreement.
My son was just 11 weeks old when I returned to work.
At 15 weeks, I walked out and started my own business.
I later sued my employer and was awarded £5,000, I considered it a ‘start-up’ grant.

At 36, I was listed by Insider Magazine as one of their “40 Under 40” and sat on the management committee of the IoD Wales.

At 38, my business was sabotaged from within by my husband.
On New Year’s Eve 2008, I closed it overnight.
My entire team was made redundant with immediate effect and no pay.

I took the business through administration and entered personal bankruptcy.

I left my husband.
Lost residency of my son.
Was deemed unemployable.

I failed at ending my life and instead entered pure survival mode.

I built another business within the night-time economy.
And met my next abuser.

Breaking Point

At 40, I broke down.
Panic attacks.
Agoraphobia.
Depression.

At 42, I began to rebuild.

With nothing left to lose, I followed a long-held dream and gained my Equity card and Spotlight membership as a professional actor.

And I met Mr M again.

At 43, I secured a full-time job and began a part-time distance-learning degree.
At 45, I regained residency of my son.
At 46, I published two books.

At 48, I attempted to take my life again due to ongoing psychological abuse from husband No. 2.

At 50, both Mr M and I lost our jobs.
Our income dropped to just 14% of what it had been.
To survive the pandemic, we each worked two part-time jobs.
That same year, my father was diagnosed with dementia.

Rebuilding Again

At 52, I moved towns with Mr M, secured the best full-time job of my life, and relaunched my coaching practice.
My son left university just one month after starting, struggling with severe mental health issues.

At 54, my son’s mental health nose-dived once more but later, he returned to university.
My father’s dementia worsens weekly.
That same year, I graduated from the Open University with a 2:1 in Psychological Studies.

At 55, my credit record will finally reflect my true financial reality, that is ‘good’.

The Mask We Wear

For the majority of the past 25 years, I turned up, painted on my mask, and did what I needed to do.

No one asked what was really going on.
People saw the face of success.
The positive outlook.
The ability to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

They saw the resilience that I’d developed.

Every single one of us has a backstory we’ll never fully know.
What you see is always the edited version.

So yes I’ve had it easy, if that’s what you want to believe.

Why I Do This Work

When I talk about living my Blockbuster Life and helping others create theirs I’m not starting from a place of perfection or abundance. Neither am I sharing it to be boastful.

I’m starting from a place that hurt deeply.
A place that cut to the bone and left scars.

But from I place I know that it is possible to create your Blockbuster Life no matter what you’ve lived through, no matter what you’re still carrying.

A Gentle Invitation

If something in my story resonated with you —
if you’re tired of carrying it all alone,
or you’re quietly wondering whether there’s more for you than just coping

This is the work I do inside Behind the Mask.

It’s a safe, confidential space for professional women who look “fine” on the outside but know something needs to change on the inside, gently, at your pace, without labels or pressure.

You don’t have to be ready.
You just have to be willing to take one small step.

You can find out more about Behind the Mask or book a no-pressure chemistry call here.

And if all you take from this today is the reminder that your story matters that’s enough too.